But what if people took to heart the most basic advice offered in every kind of relationship — be yourself. “I decided I wanted to be more honest and real,” she said in a recent phone interview. I challenged him, and he was doing the same with me.It was so different and so refreshing — and so real.” Studies show 100% of dating couples lie, said Judith.In their 30 years of research and leading couples programs, the Wrights have developed a keen understanding of how to help couples get to the heart of their conflicts.Their research reveals what’s really behind petty fights and how couples can learn to grow more intimate and loving by learning how to fight.Fighting is associated with immaturity and an inability to resolve conflict.But, the fact is, the kind of fighting that leads to a stronger relationship isn’t the winner-take-all, I’m right/ you’re wrong battles of conventional thinking.But it’s not just any kind of fighting that brings couples closer and makes them stronger, say the authors.
It’s up to you to learn the skills to focus on the root causes of the conflict and actively listen to your partner to better understand his or her position. And by “conflict,” we specifically mean verbal disagreements and arguments.People disagree and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.Fighting is not for losers, which means learning how to do it right so the outcome helps couples move forward is key.